What Would You Do With Free Texts For Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgFxzL2MFko

Don't know if anyone has seen these adverts for T-Mobile, but the essential premise was asking 'normal' people what they would do with free texts for life. This is a follow up on what one of the respondees said 'Start a superband' and he's only fucking doing it.

Does this advert prove how cheap we have become? We can't achieve anything until we are offered free texts? The £3 he saved on the free texts was the difference between him starting a super group and sitting in with a couple of beers.

Short entry, I felt like ranting.

My Problem With God

I'm bringing in the New Year with a message about why I hate God. Quite simple he is the most evil, vile, horrible character ever thought into existence. To illustrate the point I will compare him with five well known historical figures.

1. Radovan Karadžić

Radovan Karadžić is widely considered to be the architect of the Ethnic-Cleansing atrocities that took place in Bosnia-Herzegovina in the 1990's. His Serb nationalist agenda led to the siege of Sarajevo and the massacre at the UN declared safe zone of Srebrenica. After being a fugitive of international law he was finally captured in 2008 and is currently being tried at The Hague for war crimes.

Comparison to God:

Difficult to choose just one, but lets go for Sodom and Gomorrah. God didn't like their way of life, so decides to massacre thousands of people. Not unlike the massacre at Srebrenica.

2. Adolf Hitler

Do I need to explain why he was evil? Top of the list of his atrocities would undoubtedly be the Holocaust though, were an estimated 6 Million Jews were massacred for being the wrong race.

Comparison to God:

1Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying,
2"Take full vengeance for the sons of Israel on the Midianites; afterward you will be gathered to your people."

God ultimately tells his children to massacre all people of the race of Midiantites for being of inferior moral character. Hmm.

3. Arthur Gary Bishop

Less known than the first two, but the religiously named Arthur Gary Bishop was one of the most notorious killers of children in criminal history. He systematically killed children for pleasure until he was caught in 1983 and charged with the murder of five different children. He was executed in Utah state prison in 1988.

Comparison to God

Isaiah 14:21 Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers;

Hosea 13:16 Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces

Isaiah 13:16 Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes

Scary!

4. Sarah Palin

Homophobic running mate of John McCain in the 2008 US presidential election Sarah Palin is the next I add to my list. Unlike the others so far she has not technically done anything illegal, just highly highly immoral. Her core politics lay in anti-gay legislation, going so far as to attempt to strip Gay couples of any legal rights, and openly homosexual people from receiving state benefits!

Comparison to God

Well God goes a little further than Mrs Palin by saying that Homosexuality is as much of a sin as bestiality and child molestation. Similar tact, though I think Palin may have actually copied from God on this one. That's how cheaters are caught, they copy from people with the wrong answer.

5. Paul Joseph Goebbels

Better known simply as Joseph Goebbels. He was the propaganda minister for the Nazi regime, forcing all to listen to the Nazi message, a message full of lies, mistruths and manipulation all under the guise of morality.

Comparison to God

Evangelism takes up a key part of God's message, that is essentially Christian propaganda, but more tellingly look at the best selling book of all time! The Bible, a single piece of Christian propaganda that espouses God's message, a message full of lies, mistruths and manipulation all under the guise of morality.

Yep, if God were a man and not a mythical entity he would have been tried and imprisoned long before his message would have time to corrupt so many. Unfortunately still we are told to pussy-foot around this creature, and we are supposed to believe his followers are some how moral? The worrying thing is Ireland has recently passed anti-blasphemy laws. The simple blog I am about to publish would incur a 32,000 Euro fine now in Ireland. 32,000 Euros for giving my opinion on what seems to me an evil, immoral and vengeful being. Could you imagine if a country passed a similar law protecting Hitler, Goebbels or anyone else on my list? Seems unlikely.

Top 5 Live Performances Of The Year

Simple blog post this time, just remeniscing about what turned out to be a good year for me and bands. Here you go.

1. Sunset Rubdown - Glasgow

Hard to explain why, but this gig was not only my gig of the year, but probably my life. Must have only been 100 to 200 people there, but the band were like perfectly in tune with the audience. They played songs in an order that made the entire gig rise up and up like on of their songs before a crashing crescendo of amazing music.

2. The Twilight Sad - T in the Park Kinross

Amazing band, wanted to see them for ages and finally got the chance at T. Hardly anyone there, but to me it was the performance of the festival, outweighing Blur and the excellent Mumford & Sons (who again very few people went to see, odd that eh). Played their songs with such passion and intensity you forgot you were on a field. Each song was played so differently to the album you only realised what you were listening to half way through the song. Never seen a man more possessed than James Graham emmense performance.

3. Blur - T in the Park Kinross

With TS having an extortionately tiny crowd Blur where the opposite. I think everyone at Ballado turned out to see Blur in the final of their comeback gigs. They didn't dissapoint, every well known Blur song was played. Never been as excited to see a band as Blur, one of my favourite bands of all time and it was amazing.

4. Meursault - Edinburgh

This was one of those days when two bands you love are playing in the same city on the same night. At one venue the always excellent Frightened Rabbit, at the other Meursault. We managed both gigs. Leaving shortly before the end of Frightened Rabbit's set we bombed it down the Royal Mile, accross the cowgate, through Nicholson street and into the venue. It was worth it. A relatively loud crowd was silenced instantly by Neil's foghorn voice. Second time I'd seen them, the first time they were average, now a mere three weeks later they were fantastic. Great band, definately worth checking out.

5. Scott from Frightened Rabbit and Neil from Meursault - Edinburgh (Oxfam shop)

On the same day as both the Frightened Rabbit and Meursault they had a 'secret' performance at the Oxfam shop on the Royal Mile. They announced it the evening before on twitter, and a mere 12 hours later, on a work day, we crammed into the shop to see a selection of Meursault and Frightened Rabbit songs performed by two men who's voices complimented each other perfectly. Little did I know at the time, it would only be the second best performance I was to see that day.

Statistically my bands of the year had 3 Scottish, 1 English and 1 Canadian. Best gig was in Glasgow, but the scene of most was Edinburgh. The beer served at my favourite gig was Red Stripe, but the most commonly served beer was Tennent's. Best drink I've consumed at a gig (Crabbie's Alcoholic Ginger Beer) was at a gig that didn't even make the list (Bowerbirds, which was good I must admit but had better). Gig I most regret missing was Lady GaGa, watched part of her TiTP set but missed most of it, really regret that now. Worst gig of a band I chose to saw would possibly actually be Modest Mouse, unfortunate as I really love their music, didn't like the gig so much though.

Simon Saves Music

"How Do You Feel About Ruining The Music Industry?" asks Elly Jackson, singer from cooler than cool pop outfit La Roux to Simon Cowell, a man, who lets face it, needs no introduction. In the latest issue of NME they interview Cowell, but not to find out about the music industry, Cowell's life or anything remotely related to music. No the description of the interview, even before it is conducted is to discover how Mr Cowell sleeps at night (on a bed lined with Diamonds most likely). NME doesn't even try and pretend it is being anything but pretentious with this interview. The article begins with the mission statement; "To most indie fans Simon Cowell is the devil Incarnate". Good start, it emphasises the balanced and interesting piece NME wants to write about the pop mogul.

NME invited twitter followers to ask the man questions, almost exclusively coming from stylish 'indie' bands. One of my favourites they printed being "Why are you such a twat?". But why all the hate? Pop music has always existed, chart bubble gum pop has been around since I was born. Yet now all these bands have this 'Holier than thou' outlook on music. Elly Jackson is much cooler than you, she has a deliberately strange hair style (bright red quiff if you are interested) and conducts herself as if she is the single handed savior of decent music against the oppressive pop machine owned by Satan himself, Simon Cowell.

Cowell answers Ms Jackson's question by denying any 'ruination' of music is coming from him "It's [music] influenced by people who buy records". And thats true. With Killing In The Name Of top of the Christmas charts it shows how right Simon Cowell is. People didn't want another X Factor number 1 and look what happened. The democracy of music prevailed. Not through the help of La Roux or NME but normal people. People who aren't going to pretend they are better than anyone else because they like bands that are deliberately quirky and look cool.

I'd like to know whether Elly Jackson can explain to me, on an academic level, why her electro-synth tried and tried again pop is any better than Susan Boyle's rendition of 'I Dreamed A Dream'. What is the difference really? At base level what is the difference? Perhaps it is that Susan Boyle is a person who rather than think 'I want to change my style to ensure I am different and better than anyone else' I imagine she sat down declaring she wanted to sing. She wanted to entertain. Whats wrong with that? And what is wrong with Simon Cowell allowing her to achieve it? Ironically the only proof that Simon Cowell has ruined the music industry is that somehow La Roux's album has become a best seller.

I'm sorry Red, you are not bulletproof, you're absolutely full of holes.

Things To Do Before...

One of the frustratingly common things that have occured to me in my life involve '50 things to do before you die' lists. They appear on tv, in magazines, in books that friends have purchased and even just in friendly conversation. Almost exclusively they have had a few that seem so startelingly common and easy I can't see how my life would be any more or less fulfilled based on the participation of the event, to ones that are so extreme and difficult to achieve the time I would waste trying to do so I am sure would be better spent completing other parts of the list.

Anyway, as a sort of themed New Years Resolution I have whittled down one of these lists to five things I think are not so easy that I could achieve them without effort, but not so difficult that they are impossible. I hope to have them all done by 30th December 2010. Here is the list:

1. Throw A Huge Party - OK, not too difficult seeing as I'm at uni and have a year to do it, but it still involves planning and I felt I needed something sort of easy to ease myself into it. Plus the list I'm looking at has startlingly few things a bloke without a passport can actually do!

2. Try out Vegetarianism for 21 Days - This I will probably find more difficult than I may envisage. Whilst I don't eat a lot of meat, I do enjoy it, I also really enjoy gummy bears and beer.

3. Ask Someone Out On A Date Who You've Just Met - Probably easy when looking at it though I suspect I'll find it embarrassing. Probably make sure it is someone who I've only just met but also am unlikely to meet again unintentionally.

4. Pose for Nude Art - Really unsure how practical this one would be, perhaps the most difficult to organise, but if I can find the oportunity it shouldn't be too difficult should it?

5. Take Up Islam For A Week - Kind of intended to do this anyway, but still should present a few difficulties that may need adressing.

No idea how likely I am to actually get these done, but I don't think I've ever actually attempted to try and proper New Year's resolutions, I'm hoping that having a list written here in my blog may inspire me to actually go and try to do them. Hopefully it wont be too difficult, but difficult enough that I can have some fun trying!

Rock n Roll Corrupting Youth

'What will people think when they hear that I'm a Jesus freak, what will people do when they find out it's true. I don't really care if people label me a Jesus freak, there ain't no hiding the truth.'

So starts the irresistibly catchy 'Jesus Freak' by Christian soft-rock group DC Talk. The trio comprised of devout Christian's who wanted to spread the message of Jesus of Nazareth through accessible radio friendly rock. Sounding like a religious Nirvana (the band not the Buddhist state of enlightenment) they managed epic success that led them to be signed by EMI records. By 1995 the aforementioned 'Jesus Freak' debuted at number 16 in the Billboard 200, and sold two million copies of the album. It is clear with this success to see why record labels are interested in signing Christian bands, but to me their success is a sign of the growing power of new Christian youth movements.

When I think of Christianity I think of traditions, churches, Jesus on the cross and most particularly an aging congregation enjoying tea and biscuits with the local village clergyman. The historically riveting dependence and obsession religion seen in the crusades, the reformation, Spanish Intuition and the Catholic persecution seem as buried in the past Beta max. Religion, whilst interesting, is ultimately archaic to those who are not religious, and an increasingly small part of the lives of those who are. Or so I thought. Looking across to America we can see the new rock and roll Christianity taking hold and spreading fast. Worryingly they seem to have managed to find their way over here.

The old neighbour who would walk down to the Kirk on a Sunday may look at Rock n Roll and youth culture with a middle class sneer and conservative dismissal, but this is not particularly problematic to music or youth culture. It isn't being threatened by mildly religious people who's concerns are their own and who's beliefs have no bearing whatsoever on anyone else. Despite disagreeing on certain things I don't doubt the lead singer of a new rock band and Mrs Lemington from down the road would manage to enjoy a perfectly civil, enjoyable cup of tea with one another. No, religions threat to youth attitudes and expression isn't from your traditional religious focus. It is coming from a manifestation of Christianity itself.

You may be wondering why I think something as insignificant as people following religion in a non-traditional way is something to fear. The truth is it is more than just an alternative faith, it is propaganda. I came to this realisation when I visited one of these 'Rock n Roll Churches' in Australia. The Planetshakers church in Melbourne was an evening congregation that took place in an auditorium. Predominantly teenagers sat and listened to a mixture of guest speakers and people in their early twenties singing overtly religious songs wearing Britney Spears style microphones. Kids wearing trendier than trendy clothes danced, sang along, applauded and lapped up the show. I call it a show as that's what it was like. It was a gig, a gig with guest speakers admittedly, but a gig all the same. Finding it different to Churches I'm used to didn't startle me, rather it interested me. However there were two things that did concern me.

Half-way through the show one of the good looking mid twenties singers announced to the crowd 'If anyone is here at Planetshakers for the first time raise your hand and one of our friends will come and talk to you'. I resisted the temptation, but watched as those that did raise their hands were taken out of the room by the staff. I like to think they were anally probed, brainwashed and forced to sign their souls away, however I think it was simple indoctrination. The other concern was the content of the songs and the subject matter of the speeches. Not about Christ loving us, no biblical readings and no interesting religious thoughts prophesised from the pastor. Rather it was based around being 'saved' by Jesus, and the immorality of Abortion, homosexuality and pre-marital sex. We were being told that scientific theories such as evolution were false, we were being lied to. I watched around as impressionable teenagers were lapping it up, agreeing, cheering with the content. This is what scared me.

Rather than seeing religion as an archaic institution these kids were being taken to a rock concert, being indoctrinated into a counter-progressive belief system. The flashing lights, cool music and attractive role models were taking these teenagers and turning them into an arch-conservative army of ignorance. Now these churches are coming to Britain, and I fear for our youth. I fear we will be corrupted by religion, corrupted my immorality masking itself morality. It seems that finally Rock and Roll music has arrived to corrupt the youth, not into drug addicted, liberalised delinquents, but into arch-conservative, immoral religious zealots. To these people I urge them to read Mathew 7:15 "Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing."

The X Generation Factor

It is predictable. Scores and scores of blind sheep going into a record store and buying a single, not on the merit of the song, not on the merit of the music, not even on the merit of the artist themselves. No these people are buying the single this Christmas because they are being told to. The peer pressure is tangible! I have to buy this single because I've been told to. No I am not talking about the X Factor winner Joe McElderry's new single, rather the 'Rage Against the X-Factor' campaign to get 'Killing In The Name Of' by Rage Against The Machine as this years Christmas number one.

To clarify personally I'd much rather sit and listen to Rage Against The Machine than this years Leon Jackson. It is more the fact that this is the latest manifestation of the 'Alternative Conformist' trend. For years people have been raging against conformity, despising it, criticising it, claiming to abhor it with every ounce of hate they have. These same people became the emos. These same people joined the Real Ale society, and most recently these same people have jumped onto the bandwagon of buying the Rage Against The Machine single. 'Look at me', they exclaim, 'look how different I am!' And who does look at them?

1st the people who are buying Michelle McMannus Mark VI's Christmas single. Oh so excited from the enjoyment of The X Factor they tripsy down to the record shop, rake through the seven inches and spend their hard earned pennies on the song they saw performed live on tv last night (I may be a wee bit behind the times). When the single reaches number one they will once again feel a swell of glee thinking 'I bought that single!' Their reaction to Rage Against The Machine being number 5 in the charts? I doubt they'll have one. They will hear a heavily censored rap/rock song by an irrelevant band that probably wont even register on their radar.

2nd the people who are believing the hype and purchasing RATM's single. Mainly people who never buy singles deciding to let the capitalist system that RATM rage against get to them. Oh how rebelious. Look at me, I hate the capitalist concept of a rich man having a garenteed Christmas number one, I'll be a true rebel and buy the single. Watch as they look at all of their friends doing the same, all of their former emo, real ale drinking music snobs queing up to purchase a single that they either will never even listen to, or more likely already own on the album. Why? To sit and listen to the charts for the first time ever and snort at the other 39 songs that make up the Christmas charts.

3rd Rage Against the Machine Fans. Their moment of glorious musical snobbery. 'Huh' I can hear them pronounce, 'look at all these people buying that song.' As they sit listening to the B-side of the original 1992 release 'Clear the Name'. 

4th, people like me who rather than take 2 minutes and 79 p (which lets face it is insignificant) will spend the entire fortnight of Rage Against The X Factor hype implying that I am so much better than everyone else as I am not so stupid as to buy a Rage Against The Machine single for the sake of The X Factor.

Really who comes out of this well?