The Problem With Shopping

I hate shopping. I really hate shopping.

To clarify that statement, I don't hate all shopping. I quite enjoy browsing books and looking at CDs and the occasional foray into a tacky tourist shop can be amusing and illuminating (so that is what other countries think Scottish people are like). It is clothes shopping I cannot stand. The whole experience is utterly humiliating and boring. You have to drag yourself from one stuffy shop to another, avoiding the crowds of people who seem to move at an extraordinarily slow pace in order to buy things which are essential, not entertaining.

This is particularly true of jeans shopping. Jeans are essential items but they are a nightmare to buy. Getting a pair which fits perfectly feels pretty much impossible. Either they fit your waist but are too long, or too short. Maybe the length is right but they are clearly too tight around your thighs, which up until now you hadn't realised were bigger than the 'average' person. Once in a while you will think you have struck gold, a pair of jeans which fit your waist, fit your legs and are even the right length. Then you look down and see a pronounced bulge coming from your pelvis and you realise that these jeans definitely expose too much to wear in public.

And that is just the jeans themselves. Before you have even got to the 'trying them on' stage you have to find a shop and deal with shop people. Walking into Topman is daunting, the ludicrously good looking sales staff give you that look, that one which says 'you don't belong here'. Everyone else in the shop appears to be skinny and pulling off a sort of indy chic that belongs in an episode of Skins, not a shopping department.

Eventually you will find a pair of jeans which aren't perfect, but are good enough. After two hours of searching for the holy grail you will try on one pair of jeans which are a little tight, and a little long but you will utter the best five words known to man 'Fuck it, that will do'. You then find out the one piece of good news you've had all day, the jeans you have selected are in the 5% off section. Brilliant, you are saving a couple of pounds which can be spent on a coffee or hot dog. Brilliant.

You take the jeans up to the counter, tired, frustrated and desperate to get home. You hand over the jeans and show your student card to get your 15% student discount only to be told by an uppity member of the sales staff that 'Student discount doesn't apply on sale items', in a voice which makes this little piece of information seem so obvious you are an idiot for not knowing that student discount doesn't apply on sale items.

You walk out of the shop, dejected, unhappy and with some new jeans which don't even fit right.

Long story short, I hate shopping.

Scandinavian Drama

Over the last couple of years there has been an onslaught of drama series and films coming from Scandinavia. Denmark have provided the exceedingly popular series 'The Killing', and have had us all hooked on the political career of Brigitte Nyborg in Borgen. Across the Øresund strait Sweden have provided us with the brooding detective series 'Wallander' and the popular 'Millenium' film and novel series. Now BBC 4 have picked up a joint venture between Sweden and Denmark which involves the police forces of both countries working together after a severed body is discovered half in Sweden, half in Copenhagen on the Øresund Bridge. Jointly funded by Swedish and Danish producers 'The Bridge' (Or 'Bron'/'Broen' to our Scandinavian neighbours, depending on which side of the Strait you reside) is continuing in the same vein as previous Scandinavian dramas and once again has a British audience hooked. But what is it about these Scandinavian dramas that is so popular?

A cynic may wonder if Danish people wait with excitement at the chance to watch the latest subtitled episode of Silent Witness, perhaps we love these dramas simply because they are other. Scandinavia is close enough to the UK to share similar cultures, but far enough away to be different and have certain nuances that are alien and exciting to us. Something bland and boring in English sounds positively fascinating in Danish or Swedish.

I don't think this fully explains our fascination with Scandinavian dramas though, I think we love them because they are good. There is something haunting and eerie about the slow pace with which they develop. It combines all that made 'The Wire' such a great series with a bleakness that exists in Scandinavian countries. When watching 'The Bridge' it is difficult not to recall Anders Breivik. Whoever the killer is in 'The Bridge' is murdering people to highlight a perceived problem he or she has. The killer clearly feels that the murders are justified in doing this, and although I don't know yet who it is, it is clear that there is morality and careful consideration behind the cold and calculating killer. This is eerily similar to the reasons Breivik has given for the atrocities that occurred last year on Utøya. Breivik has tried to justify his actions by claiming he did them for the greater good, to spread a moral message and to prevent Muslims immigration to Norway. Much like the killer in 'The Bridge', Breivik is motivated by political beliefs.

Recalling Breivik whilst watching 'The Bridge' creates an added eeriness and sinister feeling to the series. It becomes difficult not to view certain people in Scandinavia as having a dark and brooding, yet quiet and calculating evilness whilst they operate in a bleak land. Something about Scandinavian drama is captivating us and I hope that the combination of good writing, slow build up and the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian atmosphere continues.