Morality in Film

There is a powerful scene in Batman: The Dark Knight, in which the Joker devises a moral experiment. Two ships are leaving Gotham, to escape the terrorism their city is being subject to. One of these ships is full of innocent civilians who are fleeing the city through their own free will, the other ship is filled with the inmates of Gotham's prison. Unbeknownst to them however, the two ships have been filled to the rafters with explosives (not something worth checking during a period of extended terrorism evidently), but crucially each ship has also been given a detonator.

"Why would they give us a detonator to our own bomb?" one of the crew members aboard one of the ships asks.

Fortunately the Joker fills us in. It was he who filled the two ships with explosives, and he is about to conduct a social experiment. The detonator in the possession of the first ship is the one which will explode the second ship, and the detonator which will explode the first ship is in the possession of the second. The Joker explains that they have one hour to make a decision. One ship must blow up the other one, by the end of that hour, or the Joker will explode both ships. Effectively the only way to ensure survival is to destroy the other ship.

This poses a few moral questions. First of all, is it acceptable to kill others if it is to save yourself? Secondly, is it more acceptable to kill those who are on the prison ship, as they are convicts unlike the innocent people on the other ship? Thirdly, will the 'immoral' prisoners blow up the other ship to survive as they have no moral problem with letting others die?

In the film neither ship detonates the other, although all three questions are explored. Eventually Batman prevents the Joker from destroying either ship, and all live to tell the tale. Those on the civilian ship decide that even though the other ship is full of criminals, it is still immoral to blow them up. On the prison ship it is a large, tattooed man is the one who does the moral thing, and throws the detonator off the ship. Human spirit and morality prevails. More necessarily, a fairly liberal idea of what is right and what is wrong prevails.

I realised that the reason this is surprising is not because it is unrealistic (though I fear it may be), but because it is uncommon for this theme to be explored like that on film. It seems more common for these moral dilemmas to justify immoral actions, and for the situation to resolve itself with no immoral act taking place is quite surprising.

Take the immensely popular 24 for example. In this scenario the terribly exciting Jack Bauer is fighting to prevent a terrorist from detonating a Nuclear bomb. He finds the man who he is sure is responsible (incidentally this man is both clothed in traditional Muslim clothing and he is found in a Mosque) and thus Bauer decides he must extract information. Unfortunately though there is only a few hours before this bomb is due to explode, and our terrorist has decided to be a little difficult and is refusing to answer Mr. Bauer's questions.

Jack Bauer procedes to torture the terrorist.

This is known in philosophy as the 'Ticking Time Bomb' scenario. It is used, occasionally, in an attempt to show that torture can be justified. If torture is going to prevent the detonation of a bomb, which will kill innocent people, then surely it is acceptable to torture a terrorist. It plays to a utilitarian idea. It is better to hurt one person in order to save many, than to let this man go torture free but let innocent people die.

It is quite a powerful argument, but one which is flawed. Unfortunately torture does not work. Torture makes people more angry and even less likely to divulge crucial information. It does not achieve anything.

So when Jack tortures the terrorist with extremely upsetting and disturbing psychological torture, the terrorist would clearly get angry and refuse to help the Counter-Terrorist Unit find the bomb...well not quite. Quite oddly the torture works (not only does it work, it works really quickly, and really effectively), the terrorist tells Jack Bauer the information he needs and eventually Jack saves the day and looks bloody cool doing it.

The scary thing about this episode is it aired at a time when the American government was coming under pressure and criticism over 'enhanced interrogation techniques'. America was torturing people in Guantanamo Bay and torturing prisoners of War in Iraq and Afghanistan. Legal documents where created to make torture effectively illegal, wording was produced so that international law would not prohibit the use of torture and the ticking time bomb case was used to justify American foreign policy.

Perhaps I am seeing something that was not there, but is it just possible that the idea of making a difficult decision in a moral dilemma is being used in film to justify the politics and foreign policy of America? I wonder.

My Hatred of Peter Dickson

This is just a rant. There is nothing clever, or interesting or fascinating about this blog post. If you want to read about politics or Rupert Murdoch or people dying in hospitals (it's a hospital, what do you expect? The news are going on about it as if five deaths in a hospital is some sort of surprise!) then go to the Guardian website. No, this is just pure, personal annoyance. I can't fucking stand the voice of Peter Dickson. There are a few people who have annoying voices, perhaps even more annoying than Mr. Dickson's. The difference is, unlike Peter Dickson, most people do not rely on their voice for their work.

If you are wondering exactly who Peter Dickson is, he is That voice-over man. You may not know his name but you will definitely have heard his voice. He does the voice-over work for The X-Factor, Live at the Apollo, most E4 adverts and Britain's Got Talent. It feels as if every programme in the UK which uses an announcer has to get Peter Dickson in. It has almost become the law. The programmes which do not use him (the only ones I have found whilst researching this rant are Strictly Come Dancing and the Lottery...that is is) stick out like a sore thumb.

He is the bloke who has a 'ruddy' good time, speaking like he is from some by-gone era that we are all aware of, even though it never existed. I cringe every time I heard it. It is so distinctive that it is a comedy voice. It is not a normal voice, and I highly doubt he speaks like that in his day to day life. Herein lies the problem. When I first heard his voice on E4 I found it quite amusing. It was different and clearly a joke voice. I don't think I literally laughed out loud, but I certainly found it amusing...the first time I heard it...five years ago. But now, in 2011, every time I want to see the Talent that Britain has to offer, I have to listen to that comedy voice. Every time I want to listen to Simon Cowell's opinions on the newest crop of bubblegum pop singers, I have to listen to that comedy voice. Every time I want to watch mainstream comedians doing shortened versions of their sets that I already saw at the previous year's Edinburgh festival, I have to listen to that comedy voice.

The problem is, now that his voice is being used in a non-comedic way, but it still retains the comedic distinction, it is as if that voice is somehow normal. Because it is on television all the time it has almost become the voice of our generation. In twenty five years time when Chanel Four is putting on a Saturday night documentary about television in the early 21st century, there will be a blur of images with his voice everywhere. I can't fucking stand it. I want to see normal voice overs on TV. Peter Dickson is ruining television.

Top Five T Moments

I have already written a blog about which five acts I enjoyed the most at T in the Park this year, but festivals are about more than just watching bands. There is a great atmosphere which means there are always special moments which will live long in the memory. I have decided to list my top five. A top five without flares or even the really fat man who was lifted up by about 10 people in the crowd during The Strokes, but here they are:

5. 'Fuck You Scotland!' - OFWGKTA

After House of Pain finished a fantastic set the next band due on the NME stage where called 'OFWGKTA'. Myself, like many others, where intrigued about this act with their impossible to pronounce name (I have subsequently found out that they are initials for Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All, whatever that means). It turned out they where an angry rap band with a fondness for the word 'Bitch' and shouting. We lasted one song before leaving, along with about half of the NME stage crowd. One of the 'singers' of OFWGKTA reacted like all angry rap band members should do, by screaming 'Fuck You Scotland' at the fiercely nationalist crowd. We laughed, went for a slash and made our way to the Main Stage to watch a set by a former Guns n Roses guitarist.

4. We Came Here To Dance, Not To Exercise!

At 2:45 PM on Sunday at Balado Air Field the heavens opened and there was rain so bad it went through my jacket, through my cardigan, through my T-shirt, through my jeans, boots and even undies. It was miserable, wet and cold. It didn't matter though, we where standing in the Inner Circle waiting to see Blondie. Who cares about rain when we have Blondie coming along to lift our spirits? However, at 3pm instead of being treated to a seminal pop/punk band from New York, two excitable young X-Factor wannabes took to the stage in eighties style spandex. They ran on and told the crowd that they where there to get us all dancing to Salt n Pepa's 'Push It'. They then ran through the entire dance and played the song, to a chorus of booing. The entire crowd seemed to boo. We were wet, we were cold, we were tired and we wanted Blondie! The two dancers where organised by the Scottish Government as part of a 'Keep Scotland Fit' campaign. Apparently in a place where all we do is dance, cheer and jump, what was needed was the government to get us dancing... I felt a little sorry for the two dancers who had boos and bottles hurled at them, but it really was not the time or place. I think the moment they finally left the stage elicited one of the largest cheers of the entire festival.

3. Mud Slides! Mud Hugs! Mud, Mud, Mud!

Walking back to the campsite on Sunday night involved mud. You couldn't avoid it, the place was covered. More impressively however where the legends who went for large mud slides. They got absolutely covered and would invariably chase anyone who looked in the least bit clean in order to give them a big muddy hug. Only in a music festival would you see a huge mud monster chasing a clean girl who is concerned that she might get a little mud on her! Mud slides, mud hugs and mud fights where the order of the evening. Funniest muddy moment had to include the people slipping over, often face first, right into the muddy oblivion. Poor buggers, but secretly really really funny. I just hope none of them slipped in the mud around the urinals.

2. Bohemian Rhapsody

Late on Sunday I ventured down to the Ballroom Jam Tent in order to get a good position for Eels. Before Eels however Noah and the Whale where due to play. Just before Noah and the Whale where about to go on stage there was an instrumental version of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody played over the sound system. The tent was absolutely packed and everyone in there knew the song, word for word. It was a great sing along which reverberated and echoed throughout the packed tent. There where a few great sing-alongs throughout the festival, but there was something particularly good about Bohemian Rhapsody.

1. Thank You, and Good Bye...

Sunday happened to not only be the last day of T in the Park 2011 but also the date of the last ever edition of disgraced gutter rag 'The News of the World'. Instead of apologising for phone hacking scandal, the paper ran with the front page 'Thank you, and Good Bye'. Jarvis Cocker seemed quite angry at this. Cocker ranted about the 'News of the World' and produced a copy of the last ever edition. He then proceeded to remove the first page and wipe it against his backside, shouting 'This is the only good thing this bloody paper has been useful for in 168 years'.

Here are some photos of the incident (note, not taken by me):

Cocker during his rant about the 'news'paper.

And about five minutes later showing us what he thinks:

Pulp had a fantastic set and Jarvis Cocker's actions and obvious hatred of the Murdoch-owned paper was brilliant. All in all that makes up my top five moments of T in the Park 2011.

Stingy Bastard Week

After spending a ludicrous amount on and at T in the Park I looked at my balance online and was almost sick. I have not had this little money since before I got my current job and as I have tuition fees to pay for and do not yet have a job lined up for when I move to Glasgow I was, quite frankly, frightened.

I therefore decided to live on a budget of £20 per week for the foreseeable future (well, lets face it, until the Edinburgh Festival when I will be spending the best part of that for two pints). It was then that I remembered that I have a freezer full of food and a cupboard with a bit of food left in it as well. It made me realise that I do not actually need to spend any money whatsoever on food. I have decided to see if I can go a week without spending a penny on anything. It is currently 6pm on Tuesday the 12th of July, I want to go until 6pm on the 19th without having spent a penny.

I plan on doing this through various means. First of all, as I already alluded to, I have a fair amount of food in my freezer. This is a mixture of food I bought frozen, and food I bought which I knew I would not eat in time and therefore froze to keep safe. Recently I have become a lot more serious about not throwing out perfectly reasonable food, and now that is paying dividends.

Secondly, I have a few tins of soup and spaghetti hoops. These last a while and hopefully they will last me the week.

Thirdly, I have booze that I bought for T in the Park and have not yet consumed. This includes the best part of a box of wine and four tins of lager. I do not need to drink much and as I am working this week should hopefully keep the booze safe for some time past my week of non-spending.

Fourthly, I get food provided at work. For our breaks we are allowed food, usually a full meal from the hot-plate. All too often I decide I only fancy a small bowl of soup or a simple sandwich. From my shift tomorrow onwards I will make sure I eat a full meal so I am less hungry when I get home. Work also tends to throw out a few sandwiches and scones at the end of the day. I occasionally take one home when offered by the managers, now I will endeavour to take food home and eat it whenever the managers allow me to. Why let food which will be binned anyway go to waste? Particularly if I am trying to save money.

All in all I suppose I am trying to save money, but also show myself how I am spending money when I do not need to. I sort of hate myself for spending money on frivolous things when I do not have to. If I can go a week without spending money it will hopefully be the proof I need that I am spending too much and buying too much quite needlessly. This should also help me waste even less food as I have a loaf of bread and some bagels. Now I know I will not let them go off before eating them.

It is almost 6pm, and hence I start my week of not spending any money!

Top Five T in the Park Acts

Freshly showered and shaved after returning from Balado, I had been sitting watching highlights of T on the BBC website. As expected the majority of bands I enjoyed were not filmed for TV. To remedy this I have decided to create a short post listing the five acts I enjoyed the most. I enjoyed T, even though I thought the line-up was poor. Unlike the last time I attended there where only a couple of bands I really wanted to see. Whilst the headliners where no doubt impressive names, I thought the smaller bands where disappointing. Though of-course I still had a thoroughly enjoyable time, and there where a few moments which where absolutely thrilling. Here they are in descending order.

5. House of Pain

It turns out they are more than just 'Jump Around'. Beginning with a tribute to Nate Dogg, House of Pain had the crowd in a good mood whilst the sun was out. I have often found rap acts to be poor live as often they seem little more than angry men shouting at a crowd of people. House of Pain were not like this, they got the crowd going and used live music. They closed with 'Jump Around' which had the entire NME stage jumping up and down.

4. Slash

We made our way to the Main Stage to witness the former Guns n Roses guitarist play after watching the quite frankly scary OFGWKTA (The chorus of their first song appeared to be 'KNOCK KNOCK...BITCH' and when that rather interesting shouty rap song was finished one of the members shouted 'FUCK YOU SCOTLAND' to the crowds of us who where leaving, unsure of what sort of performance the NME Stage where welcoming). Slash was fantastic, he played four Guns n Roses songs along with two Velvet Revolver songs and got the crowd going fantastically. Paradise City as their departing song was brilliant with the crowd continuing to sing the chorus long after they left the stage. Love them or hate them, it's hard to deny that Guns n Roses songs get the crowd going.

3. Woodenbox With a Fistful of Fivers

Absolutely fantastic live performance. They played the T-Break stage (stage for unsigned bands, usually those with a fair bit of hype behind them) on Saturday afternoon and where the first band who I really got into. Unfortunately I had found Friday fairly boring (apart from the fear of suffocation in amidst the Pendulum crowd) and the first couple of bands I saw on Saturday where disappointing. Woodenbox really kicked off the festival for me. With a pint of cold lager in one hand I watched them perform a set which included their best songs. First time I've seen them live and really think they come into their own onstage.

2. Pulp

Pulp! An utterly brilliant performance. One of the last bands I saw but just incredible. Jarvis Cocker engaged with the audience better than anyone else I saw during the festival. I particularly enjoyed seeing him take out a copy of the News of the World (as in the last one ever) only to rub it against his arse like toilet roll whilst shouting 'The only good thing this paper has done in 168 years". Apart from Cocker's theatrics the music itself was performed brilliantly. The atmosphere in the Golden Circle was better than I thought it was at any other point. They kicked off the start of a fantastic Sunday evening.

1. Eels

Simply wonderful. Eels have such a rich catalogue of songs to play and they chose their set list wisely. The band walked on, all with beards, aviators and all of them looking dapper with either suit jackets or waistcoats on. The choreography was brilliant and done professionally (apart from the slightly out of tune rendition of 'Happy Birthday' performed for the guitarist). Personal favourite part of their set was 'Novocaine for the Soul/I Like Birds'. After finishing the former the band immediately blasted into a sped up version of the latter with the audience being left to shout 'BIRDS!' as quickly as we could muster before the musicians played again.

I snapped a picture of Mr E. and the bassist Koool J Murder:

Eels where not only the best band I saw, but the final band. It was great to end T on such a high, and whilst it was not a great T it was a great time.

Top Five Ways of Detecting a Philosophy Student

Last week I finally finished my four-year philosophy degree and graduated. Whilst the degree taught me a fair bit about philosophy, it taught me a hell of a lot more about how to be a philosophy student. Philosophy students are spreading, and whilst councils are putting 'Zombie Attack Survival Procedures' into place (seriously) many are unaware of the threat of philosophy students. Unlike Zombies, philosophy students are hard to detect, some of them look like real people!

After four years in their ranks I have learnt a thing or two about them. Now that I have rejoined humanity, I feel it is my duty to devise a list of five ways to detect a philosophy student.

1. An Unhealthy Love of The Smiths

The best advice every given to me was directly quoted from the book 'He Died with a Felafel In His Hand' by John Birmingham. He warned that, under no circumstances, must you flatshare with a fan of The Smiths. Unfortunately this prohibits you from living with anyone who has ever stepped into a philosophy lecture. Along with vegetarianism and depression, being a fan of The Smiths is almost a prerequisite of being a philosophy student. Personally I think the vegetarianism and depression has more to do with Morrissey than it does philosophy though.

2. Drinks Red Wine and Black Coffee

Look for the teeth. Some of us are clever and use 'Whitening' toothpaste to hide the abuse that constant consumption of red wine and black coffee does to our teeth. During the afternoon the philosophy student can be found sipping coffee at the artisan independent coffee shop, sneering at those who walk past with Frozen Skinny Gingerbread Lattes in Starbucks cups. By night they are in the pub, talking about Sartre, with a bottle of red wine which they are already planning on turning into a candle holder.

3. Avoids Anything Even Imitating a Stylist

Unkempt hair? Has a beard or hangs around with those with beards? Baggy T-shirt with 'Meat is Murder' embezzled on the front? Yep, you have found yourself a philosophy student. Tell tale sign is the obvious attempts at them cutting their own hair. If you need a pair of scissors then find a philosophy student.

4. Smokes Roll-Up Cigarettes

Not all philosophy students smoke (myself including), but those who do seem to exclusively smoke roll up cigarettes. In four years of mingling with philosophy students the act of rolling a cigarette was as second nature to many of them as putting a Latin phrase into regular conversation.

5. Hates Everyone Constantly Quoting Friedrich Nietzsche

People who do not study Philosophy seem to know two philosophical phrases, one is 'I think therefore I am', the other is 'God is Dead'. The problem with the latter is it appears as if everyone who quotes Nietzsche has absolutely no idea what he meant. Quote Nietzsche in front of a philosophy student and make wild claims about what it means and watch them roll their cigarette with fury.

So there we have it, the five tell-tale signs that you have a philosophy student on your hand. Stock up on loose tobacco, red wine and good coffee in preparation of the Philosophy Student apocalypse.