My Hatred of Peter Dickson

This is just a rant. There is nothing clever, or interesting or fascinating about this blog post. If you want to read about politics or Rupert Murdoch or people dying in hospitals (it's a hospital, what do you expect? The news are going on about it as if five deaths in a hospital is some sort of surprise!) then go to the Guardian website. No, this is just pure, personal annoyance. I can't fucking stand the voice of Peter Dickson. There are a few people who have annoying voices, perhaps even more annoying than Mr. Dickson's. The difference is, unlike Peter Dickson, most people do not rely on their voice for their work.

If you are wondering exactly who Peter Dickson is, he is That voice-over man. You may not know his name but you will definitely have heard his voice. He does the voice-over work for The X-Factor, Live at the Apollo, most E4 adverts and Britain's Got Talent. It feels as if every programme in the UK which uses an announcer has to get Peter Dickson in. It has almost become the law. The programmes which do not use him (the only ones I have found whilst researching this rant are Strictly Come Dancing and the Lottery...that is is) stick out like a sore thumb.

He is the bloke who has a 'ruddy' good time, speaking like he is from some by-gone era that we are all aware of, even though it never existed. I cringe every time I heard it. It is so distinctive that it is a comedy voice. It is not a normal voice, and I highly doubt he speaks like that in his day to day life. Herein lies the problem. When I first heard his voice on E4 I found it quite amusing. It was different and clearly a joke voice. I don't think I literally laughed out loud, but I certainly found it amusing...the first time I heard it...five years ago. But now, in 2011, every time I want to see the Talent that Britain has to offer, I have to listen to that comedy voice. Every time I want to listen to Simon Cowell's opinions on the newest crop of bubblegum pop singers, I have to listen to that comedy voice. Every time I want to watch mainstream comedians doing shortened versions of their sets that I already saw at the previous year's Edinburgh festival, I have to listen to that comedy voice.

The problem is, now that his voice is being used in a non-comedic way, but it still retains the comedic distinction, it is as if that voice is somehow normal. Because it is on television all the time it has almost become the voice of our generation. In twenty five years time when Chanel Four is putting on a Saturday night documentary about television in the early 21st century, there will be a blur of images with his voice everywhere. I can't fucking stand it. I want to see normal voice overs on TV. Peter Dickson is ruining television.