First Year at University

This is a blog I wrote a few years back during First Year at Uni. It is a fictional account of things that occurred in first year, pretty much everything I wrote did happen but I've used a little poetic license to change certain aspects of it. Anyway, thought I would post it on this blog as I never use my old one anymore. It comes in two parts, here is the first. Enjoy.

19th March 2008

I arrived back after a particularly gruelling episode of drinking to see Phil and Greenhill filling bottles of water, with that sort of mischevious look which meant only one thing: messing with Gav. Fraser, probably Gav’s best mate in halls went to Illa’s room, where ofcourse Gav was ‘Studying’. Naturally Gav opened the door, and began talking to Frasier. I watched, slightly confused, as Phil and Greenhill sprayed as much water as they could all over Gav before he closed the door.


Needless to say, Gav wasn’t happy. When he once again emerged from his room a few seconds later, it emerged that his Economics book had got soaked; for once he really was studying. He was garbed in his usual clothing of shorts and a shirt, suddenly Greenhill ran up to Gav and pulled down his shorts! Naturally the first thing Gav does is try to cover his surprisingly large appendage, leaving a bottle of water he’d hidden in his shorts to fall down to the ground, thus splashing him even more!


One would think Gav would be pissed off at this, but it wasn’t too bad. All he did was stop us from watching the footy highlights on his tv, nowhere near as bad as the time we stole his bed, chair, Strongbow’s and bin from his room. He was not happy with that, and sulked in his empty room for hours before he finally came through, demanding we tell him where we hid his bed. It was a pity really, his bed was nice to sit on in the kitchen. That time we missed the entire football game, never mind the highlights.


Back to the former incident (the now infamous ‘get Gav wet’ evening) the now soaked and exposed Gav went back to Illa’s room, no doubt for a bit of tlc, when Frasier noticed Collin out the window. Collin was the campus Goose, that through a bizarre series of experiments, believed he was a duck. The spotting of Collin inspired Greenhill to run outside and chase Collin into the Loch screaming “Why must you reject me Collin?” He sat down, looking extremely rejected, and as if his life had no meaning any more. The German student from the floor below who happened to be walking past seemed to wonder whether he should give some help to Greenhill. Wonder what he thinks of Scottish people after that? I could imagine his next phone call home could well have included the sentence; “These people are freaks, they fall in love with Geese”. Seems little wonder that he left a few weeks later


I decided to cut my losses and lock myself in my room. The days seemed to be getting freakier, fine and dandy usually, but remember this whole time I was drunk. Not only drunk, but the kind of drunk where you start to consider whether life is ever going to be good. The kind of drunk where listening to a Leanard Cohen album could just end up killing you. The kind of drunk where seeing one mate naked, and another get rejected by a goose seems to confirm all your theories about how shit life really is. It wasn’t till the next morning that I decided the opposite, those things proved how great life is, and how we really must enjoy the little things in life, it’s the lack of those that make a life not worth living.