The Death of a Sales Job

 

Yesterday I saw the true face of modern capitalism. I was invited to a second stage interview with a door to door sales company; this interview involved me observing an entire day of sales. I was teamed up with one a senior salesman and sent out to watch him work. Just in case it offends anyone I wont use his name, or the name of the company I was with, these are simply my observations and opinions about what I saw, no intention to de-flame anyone.  

 

The work was simple; he represented a charity, Sense Scotland in this case, and would go door to door convincing people to set up a direct debit to the charity. For this act of good-will our salesman gets commission based on how much the customer decides to sign up.

 

My man would lie time and time again to get his sale. He wasn’t a salesman to them, he was a fundraiser. As soon as the door shut he was back to his brutal honest self. False promises of prizes, stories about anything and everything that would endear him to people, lies about the generous response the neighbourhood had given. Even on the first door we got to we had, according to the customer, already talked to ‘loads’ of people in the area. Let me clarify, the man I was shadowing wasn’t a bad man by any means, he was out for himself, but not in a malicious or hurtful way. His interest was getting paid, just like everybody else. His payment came from sales, and his sales came through lying.

 

“We were ecstatic when we got Sense Scotland” he confided in me, “for deaf and blind, disabled Scottish children, It is perfect”. He didn’t mean it was perfect to help out this charity, but perfect to help him pull at the heart strings of potential customers. It was almost as good as when they represented the charity for pre-natal deaths. Nothing pulls at the heart-strings as much as when you can ask, in the deepest mock-sincerity, “Couldn’t you spare two pounds a month to save the life of a dying baby?”

 

A lot of people are savvy, most people are savvy. But these people are trained to break down the defences we all have. If people already gave to charity then the enthusiastic thank you came from the salesman, followed by compliments to their generosity. But surely if they already give to charity, they can give a payment for one month to this one and then cancel it. Just one month you pay Ten small pounds extra. Great, here are my bank details. The salesman knows fine well the short period generally lasts considerably longer. Not that it matters to him, he’s got his sale, he’s got his commission.

 

Most people said no, some refused to say hello or even give their names. One woman looked at us and blankly said ‘No, I’ve been warned about you’ and slammed the door shut. Others would take the salesman down the country path before at the last minute, just when our salesman thinks he has his golden goose, the potential customer would change his or her mind. They were my favourites, the ones wasting the salesman’s time. The patter flowing off our man for him to get knocked back.

 

“I treat every customer as I would a girl in a bar” said he. It was true. He would flirt with them, entice them, show what he had to offer but let them be aware that they could miss the opportunity. He’d be a bit brutal, if the girl had a boyfriend he wouldn’t let that deter him. If the girl was definitely not interested there was no time for niceties, immediately on to the next girl. He didn’t leave his number; it’s a now or never offer with him. You can check him out on the internet of course, but only after he’s sure he’s not going to nab you on the spot.

 

It was fascinating, rejection after rejection didn’t matter, he got his five sales and that was all he needed. His day was paid for and he made a pretty packet out of it. Is it ethical to make money out of charity? I don’t know. I don’t think it is unethical, but something about it made me feel uneasy about myself. It makes money for the charity, but I felt like the operation was about duping good, honest people, into handing over their money. The lies our dear salesman told weren’t lies to get people to give money to charity, they were lies so he could receive his commission. Simple as that. A very "Major Barbara" style situation. It’s how charities unfortunately operate, don’t blame the process when the system is broken.

 

I got back to base and filled in a short ‘test’. Simple questions such as ‘What is more important, the product or the sales pitch?’ Of course the pitch is more important, the product doesn’t matter. Yes today we were doing charities but the process would be exactly the same if we were raising money for Nuclear War. I doubt any of our sales team would bat an eye-lid if this were the case. I answered each question correctly and had to await my final interview. Sat in the waiting room I could hear all the people from the various places around Scotland being debriefed, boasting about the amount of sales they got, capitalist camaraderie with hints of jealousy. It reminded me of being in a phone shop when you sign a contract. Congratulations to the girl who sells you the contract, with a look of jealousy on the face of the man who spent half an hour talking to someone who decided to try else where.

 

In the next room they all went. I could hear singing.  Not sweet music, but a sort of relief. It’s hard to explain, but it was a similar role to those motivational lectures people are so keen on at the moment. “Oggy Oggy Oggy” came the chant next door, “Oy, Oy, Oy” came the retort. Well done everybody, you’ve done well for yourselves and done well for the company. The charity isn’t mentioned here, only profit. There is talk of laptops, iPhones, cameras and wide-screen TV’s. Materialistic values amerced in the company.  

 

I was beckoned through from the ‘Assistant Owner’ (a job title). She asked me why I should be given a job. Here I lied, I told the same lies everyone tells. She told me she wasn’t impressed, if I couldn’t sell myself to her then I couldn’t sell myself to customers. I started again, pretending I was a politician being grilled by Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight. I was enjoying myself. Everything I said was emphasised, alliteration, forceful sentences. It was a speech rather than an answer.

 

“Congratulations, you’ve got the job, welcome to the team”. She left the room to get my buddy the salesman, he also congratulated me. I smiled, aware that I didn’t really want the job, but it looked as if I was going to do it, maybe for a week, it couldn’t possibly be any longer than that. “You can start tomorrow” I said “no, I can start Monday”. Her tone of voice changed from the happy, friendly, helpful boss to the malicious bitchy capitalist boss. I was told on no uncertain terms if I couldn’t start tomorrow, I wouldn’t get the job. Sheepishly, and tiredly, I accepted.

 

Of course I didn’t turn up, I phoned up this morning and told them I wouldn’t be accepting the job. I couldn’t work in that environment, fake friendship as part of not only the job but the entire office environment. No-one there was my friend. I got on with the salesman; I honestly believe he is a good person, but the company itself I cannot say that for.

 

It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced something as interesting, yet sour. Happy as I am that I could have got the job, passed the interview etc etc there is something that has made me feel uneasy. Even charity is about profit. Whilst I accept this is how money is raised I don’t like it. I like sitting in my little book-shop in Stockbridge raising money for Shelter. The managers get paid but they are still there for altruistic reasons, good people with genuine warmth. None of this selfish attitude of doing well by other people for the good of themselves, in Shelter people are compassionate and friendly for the sake of being compassionate and friendly. It suits me more. Perhaps I am a stupid idealist, and perhaps I could have raised a lot of money for not only charity but also myself. But I would be compromising my character and my beliefs. I think I will make a donation to Sense Scotland, they seem to be a good charity, but I will make my donation online straight to the charity, I’m not paying for any salesmen’s iPhone.

A Futuristic History

Welcome to the campaign trail for the 2048 UK General Election. Make sure you register to vote by May the 6th so you can take part in the election on the 24th of this month.

Of course it doesn't really matter who you vote for, the election is already a foregone conclusion. Some call it an elected dictatorship, we call it representative democracy. Come May the 24th the Social Democrat party will once again be given the keys to 10 Downing Street and be allowed to further our progressive country and government, running full steam ahead into the second half of the century.

As you will all remember from Modern History lessons the Social Democrat party were formed from a coalition of the existing two progressive parties, the Liberal Democrats and the Labour party in 2018. Prior to that they competed with one another for the progressive vote, with Labour gaining the vote of the socialists, the workers and those to the left of the current Social Democrat party. The Liberal Democrats attracted the votes of the middle-class, idealistic type of person who wanted social change on a more obviously progressive level. This left progressive voters with competing options.

Unfortunately this did not bode well for progressivism. Then, like now, the Conservative party existed, who represented archaic conservative values. Although they never polled more than 40% of the vote, it was quite common to find them in power, there to roll back the progressive values and achievements of the Labour party. It is hard to believe that as recently as 2010 the Conservative power came to victory! Despite only receiving 35% of the vote, they became the largest party. This happened as the progressive parties were split. Even though 60% of people voted for the progressive parties (29% Labour 31% Liberal Democrat) they were not the same party, meaning the Conservative party won, rather than a party representing progressivism.

This happened again in 2015, at the next general election. Despite being hugely unpopular, they were voted in. This is when the two progressive parties decided they needed to come together, to pool the working class socialist progressivism with the middle class liberal progressivism. The result was the Social Democrats. As we all know they won with a landslide in 2020, and for the past 28 years have ruled with massive support and created a permanent progressive government, voted in by the majority progressive electorate.

But I am rambling. On the 24th of May, you, my progressive friend, have the chance to vote in the Social Democrats, to continue this grand tradition of progressive, united politics. It's a great day for democracy, and a great day for progress.